&&SIX PEDALS

Six pedals on a flower
I pluck one every hour
And think about what we could be
What if she loved little ole me

I noticed how we used to be just last year
I get a bigger buzz from her than drinking bear
I like the way my hand fits perfectly on her waist
I like that way it feels when she rubs my face...SHE LOVES ME...

Just when I feel that she's lovin me back
Seems our love gets just a little off track
Just when I feel I want to ask her out
My way is clouded by doubt...SHE LOVES ME NOT

When people see us together they say we should go out
"You'd make a nice couple" drowns out all of my doubt
I look into her eyes and see she really cares
When I'm with this girl it's like I'm walking on air...SHE LOVES ME

All of those people that said we looked good before
Are now telling me I should open my heart's door
They tell me they saw her with some other guy
That day, it rained in the sky and from my eye...SHE LOVES ME NOT...

I'm really into her and I know she's into me
No more doubt in my head 'bout how we could never be
I'm going to ask her today or forever hold it in
I asked her in a text, I couldn't believe I hit send...SHE LOVES ME...

She didn't answer my question, she pleaded the 5th
I began to become afraid and inside my heart ripped
Three days later my friend told me she said the answer that's never sought
The last pedal meant the loved me ....not

&MiTTON

Now im gonna talk about Mitton .. and for those of you who dont kno what mitton is you must be insane ... lols .. you see Camp Mitton is a camp in Brewster Cape Cod where the childern that attend it are children who have been abused and put through alot .. now not all the children that go there have been through thing like that ... now when i had decided to go to mitton i told myself i was gonna go down there and help effect the lives of children like i was .. Lil did i know i would be effected by these kids as well .. you see i met some of the coolest, unique, unforgettable kids down there (ie Bishop, Darrell, Nwyton, Dionte, JJ, Adrian, Joe) ... each kid left me i aww .. the reason is because ive had some deep conversation with the majority of the kids and i saw how life had work'd and how it sometime repeated .. NO not repeated but was actually a circle .. now i say this because alot of the things the kids went through I myself went through .. now i understand some people are angry or upset about where I will be this time next year but i just want to say that I choose mitton bc there i can impact the lives of kids and still be impacted because life to me is
helping out those who need to helped and if i haven't learned anything so far in life is that EVERYONE can be helped/impacted bc at mitton its not just the counsler/staff helping the campers but also the campers helping
impacting our lives because they remind
us of some of the things we've endured ....



BISHOP :
i was fortunate to meet this kid first session .. and is one of the 2 reason why i will be returning to mitton ... this kid has left a lasting impression on my heart and all i can think of was wen i was in a bad mode one day at camp and Lisa had walked up to me and handed me a letter and it was from bishop and just readin what he wrote light up my face and as im actually written this im gettin a lil water in my eyes just remeberin the things hes endured and remeberin the nite he came up to me gave me a hug and start'd to cry and when i ask'd him what was the matter was that he was gonna miss me and want'd me to promis i was comin back next year ......


GRANDPA D:
HE is the other reason to why im goin back to mitton ... he was my kid .. might sound crazy but he was my kid ... this kid was probley one of the toughest kid there that session on the first day but by the end of the 3rd day i saw the true Darrell .. A person stuck in between a kid and a thug ... darrell first opened up to me one day on the basketball court when we were speakin about things that i was shocked to know he knew about but at the same time felt kinda weird bc for some odd reason it felt like deja vu .. but instead of me listenin to the story of how he knew it was me telling the story .. Darrel (grandpa D) was an exact image of me when i was his age ... i cant wait to see how he grows bc this kid will go far in life ....

The things people do

The things people do
Just to get at you,

The things people do
When they're missin' you,

The things people do
When they're well aware you got a boo,

The shit these people pull when they know its foul and rude!
Wack ways they try to pursue quickly change my attitude..

Now, I'm gonna step off poem form and just speak real about this...These things have been an issue with me and maybe some of you but i know that people should be able to relate to where i'm coming from.I'm not sure about anyone else but i've had people try in different ways to get at me as "want to get with me" and seriously the things they do present WACKNESS. PURE! and the fact that i'm not interested and already involved and that its on FACEBOOOK or MYSPACE makes it even worse lol Like if i was single, i'd probably be flattered by it but the shit is just plain WACK lol I appreciate the love but i got enough already sorry =/ ....

First off THE WEIRD. RANDOM. OUT of the BLUE! FRIEND REQUESTS! like do i know you? their answer is "Well, we do have X amout of mutual friends" or "I'm just tryna meet new people you know"....SERIOUSLY? or the "You dont remember me? I'm such & such's friend" UMM NO? i dont think so lol...then theres a inbox message or the one that i get most is the facebook instant message....I swear I'm about to start going offline seriously....SO I'm at most times a nice out going person, and that means i have no problem meeting new people but i think i'm gonna have to stop being like that lolWe would go into conversation and then they get slick right and pull a "O well, Hey! I'm about to go offline, TEXT ME!" , Like you really want me to have your number that bad?? You Jokin? and if its not the number its the aim screen name. Then if your nice like me, you feel theres an obligation to call or instant message lol I HATE THAT! Just writing this is changing me as we speak..I'm not fuckin being nice anymore yo seriously...so when you finally hit them up they dont talk about shit, or they'll tell you look good or get turned down if that hasnt already happend....like seriously man...these people are crazy

Secondly, There that fuckin EX! lol idk about ya'll but i know they're out there...you know the ones that might as well be singing "The Best I Ever Had" when they look at your pics. Like they always feel the need to tell people they went out with you when thats not even the case. They even tell people false dates and information lol Like i dont like that shit especially if you didnt even technically go out with them....this is the result of being you and dumb people. Don't make mistakes that you know you wouldn't like to look back on later in life and dont mislead an individual EVER! thats the worst thing. You'll end up having one of those "Ex's"....I just want to close out by telling those people out there that being THIRSTY is not the right path in life you should walk. Supposedly making new friends, but then come to find out you just want to get with them is NOT cool! Its not a good look for you cause being Thirsty just isnt the way man lol especially if you're young lol it only makes you look DESPERATE! and stop pushin yaself up on people, inviting yourself to shit you know you wasnt supposed to attend or just barging in on people's plans...TRY to use some discretion when you do things instead of just acting and just DOING! I'm a person who has made his share of mistakes and has learned from EM ALL! which i can say makes me the better person i am today and also Smarter i must say. I dont want to give off from this that i'm supposed to be this guy who thinks he's HOT SHIT...and that i have like group of people that stock me cause im soo fine lol i DONT think that at all...I think i'm an OK guy...i GUESS i'm good looking...NOT CONCEITED ONE BIT though...maybe just confident.JUST HOPE I'M UNDERSTOOD! Lol Feel Me??

&DEATH...

One thing i never was able to wrap my over-large head around was suicide..WTF!!!i understand that people feel as though that they must run away from theyre problems but killing yourself wont do a damn thing but bring hurt, resentment, melacholy, etc..2 of my dearest friends have also expericed this type of thing...this is why i had decide to write about it..you see suicide to many is an escape way so they can stop dealing with problems..all i have to say personally is its not...one of my closet friends had commited suicide back in the summer of 2008..he had decided to sit in freezen cold ice water and slice both his wrist resulting in bleeding to death.they had found his body 10mins later life less..a letter he left behind read that he had done this because of the harrassessment he was enduring from people just because he was different..Honestly..if i could see him now i would tell him how stupid he was and how he rocked everyones life..how he destoryed friendships..marriages..and even LIVES..you see the person who found his lifeless body was his then 10year old brother, Drew......

Drew has never been the same...ive seen the most active, talktive kid who you couldnt pay to shut up barely speak..people say that Anthony didnt just take his lfe away..that he took the hearts of everyone he loved, his parents marriage, Drews being with him to the afterlife...if i could eva have the chance to be able to talk some one out of suicide i would do it in a heart beat...

lOvE yOU AntOny

&iDK...

LOVE.........

"Love is a temporary madness.

It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides.

And when it subsides you have to make a decision.

You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.

Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion.

That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.

Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground,

and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

MY MOTIVATION!!!!!!!!!!!

IN THIS BLOG IM GOIN TO CONSTANTLY UP DATE

WITH PEOPLES COMMENTS THAT KEEP ME

MOTIVATED..

1. "Blake" (12:04:55 AM):UR AMAZING IN EVERYWAY POSSIBLE AND DON'T LET NOONE TAKE DAT AWAY FROM U
2. "Blake" (12:10:20 AM): People say bestfriends are hard to find.. That's cuz cuz the best is already mine
3. "Blake" (12:12:24 AM): True friends are never apart. Maybe in distance but not in heart.

THIS WAS TOLD TO ME BY BLAKE ON mAY 30 ON AIM